Redemption Song

I never realized exactly how terrible I was a updating my blog, until I realized it had been over a month since my last post. I will do better.
Right now, it is so beautiful outside! I have been consistently blown away with the weather, just how gorgeous God's creation is. The evidence of spring is everywhere with the lush gardens and the vibrantly green trees and rolling hills. Combine that with the intense summer sun, and you have a breathtaking, glorious day. A day when music seems the seep from the crevices of creation, and you can't smiling and singing. I am in the midst of such a day right now. I woke up and drove to a beautiful neighborhood where the trees shade the sidewalks and the houses more often than not have children's toys strewn about he front lawn. I then proceeded to run with a friend for a while. I have never liked running:growing up, in high school, even last year-it was always something I thought of and had a bad taste in my mouth. However, lately I have been trying to be more disciplined, and have tried to run on a regular basis. My body now lets me know when I have not run for a bit, because it starts craving it. I don't understand-all I am doing is running for an extended period of time (little "Anchorman" joke for you there). My body can feel it, but more so than that, my mind craves it. It craves that portion of time that I do nothing but listening to music and push myself. I can think. I can roll around the thoughts of the day, week, the problems and concerns, and joys and the things I am grateful for, the dreams that I have, my future, and how to get there with my present, and on rare occasion, I think of absolutely nothing, which then promptly weirds me out and I start thinking about 6 things to make up for the time that I wasted thinking about nothing. Whatever i think about, at the end of my run is always the promise of clarity and a rejuvenated spirit. So, in short, I have taken a liking to running. ;) The rest of my day? Came home, cleaned, ate an apple, and right now I am outside in the sunshine, attempting to gain more sun kisses/freckles before the day's end.
I have been doing lots of thinking about the past six months since I have returned home, about how I was changed during my SBFM, and about my mindset when I first returned home. How easily we can slip away and forget-not forget, simply store in the corners of our minds-what we have learned, what our purpose in life is, and where we are going. During the year 2008, my life has changed so much. I completed my DTS which rocked my views, my passion for Jesus, and my identity as a daughter of the King. During that summer, God gave me a heart for the community of Springfield that I never had before. I was able to spend a week of 24/7 prayer with other believers-my fire for intercession only continued to burn brighter and harder during that week. During my SBFM, My mind was molded and shaped in so many way; my world view was changed, my knowledge of God only deepened to make me realize how much more I had to learn. I came home at the end of that school, my mind still craving learning and reading everything I could get my hands on, reading 3 books at once, alternating between them. I came to a point when I decided to slow down, for fear of burning out, i told myself. I busied myself with other things, working out, finding a job, spending time with friends. I am not saying that these things are bad, or that they are unimportant. Jobs are necessary, taking care of your self is a good habit, and we are built to be in relationship with one another. However, here I six months later, wondering how I got to the place I am, where the fire is not as strong and God's voice is not so prevalent? I am not about to say that God has left me or abandoned me-I know better than that. That is against His character, against His nature. However, it is in my nature as a sinful human to leave, to make wrong decisions, to not chase after my Beloved everyday with all me heart. Something one of our speakers during SBFM said was, "How dare you do anything without permission form your Father?" I have not been seeking Him in everything I do. It is so easy for me to think of this stage of my life as an in-between stage. I am in between SBFM in Maui and the Peregrinati Way internship in Scotland. I have nine months here-work, friends, not much else can be done but wait right? So very wrong. When we turn our eyes towards God, when we posture ourselves in a way that we throw our arms open towards Him, and we can be on our knees in worship and adoration, we can say, "God, here I am. What wold you like to do in and through me today?" That is our purpose. We are here to love Him with our whole heart, soul, mind, and strength,and we are to love others as we love ourselves. That is what we are called to do, that is what we are made for.
So this is my confession:I have not been the woman of God that He created me to be. I take heart in the fact that God is in the business of redemption-He loves redeeming His children! I know there will be times when I will fall, and I am confident that God will never leave me. This is the path that is marked out for us-I think I may just have found part of the trail.

Decision

"He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim freedom for the captives
and release from darkness for the prisoners"
Isaiah 61:1

Brother come on open up you eyes
Quit believing all those lies
That the devils been telling you
Sister I know that it happened again
But girl you that you’ve got a friend
I’ve been there too
Brother you can take of that mask you wear
Quit acting like you don’t care
About the things that are killing you
Sister don’t go that way no more
You’ve been down that road before
I’m in love with you
Everyone says that it’s alright
Living in darkness every night
But I think it’s time, Lord it’s time
I’m ready to give up all my sin
But I don’t know where to begin
But I think it’s time to find out
And make that change
I’ve been lonely too
Many days pass by, what’s done is done
I give up my life
I’ve been running through the night
Towards the light, of the sun
Now I’m free
Bring a little love for me
Sweet love of mine
It’s the morning of a new day
I thank you Lord for everything
That you’ve done
In me
I will meet you there
In the end of time
Come together as one

-Josh Garrels

Cranberry Pomegranate Green Tea, and another day off...

The bleak, cloud-filled sky is showing no signs of leaving any time soon, and I am quite alright with that. In fact, I prefer that right now. What better excuse to sleep in on your day off, and have a morning/noon filled with nothing but hot tea, a late breakfast (eggs and fruit-yummy), and updating the world on my life in the Midwest.
Sunday after church we had a baptism and potluck. On the land right outside the church we filled a huge feeding trough with water, and used it for the baptism. One of my friends that I have grown up with got baptized, rededicating his outward commitment to live for Christ. There were also a few kids that got baptized, but instead of our pastor baptizing them, their fathers did. It brought me back to when I was a small girl of 5 or 6 years old, getting baptized by my dad at a campground pool in the country. It was neat to think about these fathers-they are several years older than I, but not by many. They have taught their kids what it is to become a Christian, and what it means to make that public declaration. In a world when the meaning of family is deteriorating, parenting is getting your kids to the nanny on time, and children are considered more of a burden than a blessing from God, it was very encouraging to see parents who have taught their what the Christian life is and how it is lived out.
This past week I have noticed more and more how much our God is into beauty. Creation all around us screams of His creativity: a rich pink and orange sun rise that fades into layers, like a poured drink; the seeds of a dandelion blown about into miniature tornados; the laughter of close friends enjoying each other's company. Each of these are things that are not absolutely necessary for life, but God created them for our pleasure. It is His gift to us, evidence of His intense love for His children. More incredible every time I think about it.
This Tuesday is almost my -I have had my three days off, and tomorrow it is back to work, bright and early. I get to enjoy yet another breath taking sunrise, meet new faces, and enjoy my friends. It will be a good day.

"This is Love when I give my heart to everyone but you,
This is Love when I have turned my back away from you,
This is Love when I have left you for the selfish things I do,
This is Love that you would still love me,
In spite of me."
-The Autumn Film

You Spin Me Right Round...

Driving to Kansas City with my amazing friends for a Royals vs. Yankees game...GO YANKEES!!!

Derek Jeter up to bat
They won the game 6 to 1. ;)

Springtime! Goodness life changes fast-I feel like I can never say that enough. My last post was November; to those who actually read this blog, I am sincerely sorry. Here is a brief run down of what has happened the past few months...
-I finished the school I was attending in Maui, the School of Biblical Foundations and Missions. I learned an incredible amount of information during that time; not just facts, but truths that shape my thoughts, who I am, and the way that I think. I never realized before how much the cultures that we live in shape and mold us to be a direct product of that culture. During that time I studied different religions, such as Islam, Hinduism, Secular Humanism, Buddism, Marxism, and New Age. I learned about the nature of Truth, Cross-cultural communication, and many other topics, most of which blew my mind! It will never cease to amaze me that the more you learn, the less you realize you actually know. The smartest men are the ones that realize that they know nothing. Incredible ;)
-After SBFM was finished, I returned home to the rolling hills of the Ozarks, otherwise know as the great Springfield, MO. However, the only ones that were aware of this return home were my sister, her husband, and myself. I had omitted that little detail when I spoke to my parents and friends back home. SURPRISE! ;)
I have been living at home since I returned in mid-December. I am currently working as a shift manager at a wonderful little coffee shop called Fog City Coffee. I have always wanted to be a barista, so this little opportunity works out wonderfully! I am planning on starting an internship this coming September in Paisley, Scotland at their YWAM base. The internship is called Pereginati Way, which means to set out from home without agenda. I have no agenda of my own, only what God wants to do in and through me. During this internship I will be in staff training, leadership training, and be working in the base and around that community of Paisley. I will have chances to pioneer ministries according to my giftings, and I will be able to plug into ministries that are already going on at the base. There will also be opportunities to travel to Romania and possibly to Africa to work with the people there. I am very excited to see what God has for me during that season of my life!
As excited as I am to move to Scotland, I am also really blessed and content living here in Springfield at this time. I have learned so much and been changed so much this past year, and this time is amazing for soaking in what God has done in me and being open and ready for what else he wants to teach me about His character and nature, as well as about myself.
I will be sure to keep everyone updated on what my life looks like, and what crazy things God is showing me. Have a grand spring day!

How Should We Then Live?

This is question that I have beeen asking myself all week. Our lecture this week was a video series by Francis Shaeffer, titled "How Should We Then Live?" Although it is set in the early 80s, and the setting reminds me very much of "Monty Python and the Holy Grail," the content is outstanding. When you can see past the things that could very well be distracting and listen to what Schaeffer is saying, it blows you away. He teaches about How the world has come to have the mindset that we do, and the views that we hold regarding the world, universe, and God (or god, or non-god). He talks about our government, and the mindset behind the socialistic views that we hold and that we are moving towards, which is basically a Marxist view of life nad how life should "be run." Although it may sound good, giving to the poorer of our nation, where is our goverment getting its money? If they are going to cut the taxes of the "working man" so to speak, then who will they charge to kep up spending like they are? The wealthy, the money makers, the job creators of our nation. Stealing from the rich to give to the poor. Sounds good, like Robin Hood ya? No. If the wealthy have less, they will not have as many opportunities to create jobs and places for the 'working man' to work, therefore making them poorer, and even more dependent on the wealthier. so the government will have to take care of them, but where will they get the money? The government doesn't have any money! It will be taken from the rich, creative job creators. Where did this socialistic mindsest come from? Where will it lead? What sort of ideas helped fuel the fire for this cause? Can we see where this mindset has led in the past inother countries? Think about it...one person's idea has a consequence, whether we want to believe it or not.

So then, what do we do? How should we then live? What can we do to prevent this happening in our country, can we even do anything that will help in any way? What does God want us to do, where does he want us to go to make known that this is the state in which we are living our lives, even though most are ignorant about it and blindly accepting whatever the goverment and media feeds them? Be a megaphone for the information that most are turning a blind eye about. Influence whatever area or areas you can, because if you don't go out and inform people, who will?

John 16:33. "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. but take heart! I have over come the world."

"Jesus already won this war..."-Cool Hand Luke

A Moment to Breath...

Oh my goodness! The school has been so crazy. I have been so busy with reading, lectures, projects, and learning about what God. Oh he is so good! I have recently done a Worldview project, an essay and a presentation, with two other girls, and we just finished last week. Our presentation was about the New Age Movement, and what it looks like in society today. It was a really fun project, and I learned so much! All week I learned about the different worldviews that people in our world have, and how different they are from the worldview that I grew up with. It is so easy to think that everyone else thinks the same you do, when in reality, everyone is brought up in drastically different environments, and where and who we are born around help shape who we are going to be in our lives. Learning where people come from, what they were taught helps us understand them as people, knowing why they have the thoughts they do, which ultimately produce the actions that they take. This week we are studying a video series by Francis Schaeffer called, "How Shall We Then Live?" Even after the first day, it has been great! I am learning so much, and God is really working on my heart and stretching my mind. I am stoked about what else he has to teach me!

I was reading "Celebration of Disciple" by Richard Foster today, and he was talking about the spiritual discipline of worship. "To worship is to experience Reality, to touch Life. It is to know, to feel, to experience the resurrected Christ in the midst of the gathered community. It is a breathtaking into the Shekinah of God, or better yet, being invaded by the Shekinah of God.*
* "Shekinah" means the glory or the radiance of God dwelling in the midst of his people. It denotes the immediate Presence of God as opposed to a God who is abstract or aloof." To be invaded by the glory and presence of God...nothing could be better!

As of This Moment...

Life is crazy, and our God is crazier! I am sitting in my living room floor in my house that is named Fehr's in the lovely town of Paia, Maui. This School of Biblical Foundations is blowing my mind with how amazing our God is and how much the devil has influenced the world. From the way our country is run, to the education of our children, our future generation, to our skewed view of relationships, Satan has managed to infiltrate these realms and plant seeds. These seeds have grown into ideas that shape our culture and society, and they are slowly but surely destructing it before our eyes. The worldview behind these actions are what set these things in motion, yet we only see the fruit, and we are asking how these things have come about. Knowing what the Truth is, who our God is, and why we believe what we believe is so important! I'm realizing this more and more everyday. When we know who we serve and why we are here today, we have a different sense of purpose; we can influence the world in such a radical and positive way! As I said before, God is rocking my world in such a phenomenal way. I hope to keep you all posted more often on what my life here on island is like. Love you all, and mahalo for your influence in my life!