Hello all! I have just created a new website, and I will be using that to update you fine people instead!
http://web.me.com/annarpollock
I hope you all have a fine day!
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Remember...
I tied this bit of white thread from my scarf to remember the important things. Not like doing laundry, go to the store on time, figure out the routine of life in this new place; those are all things that are important on some scale and must be done, but those are not things I wish to remember when I glance at this string.
I need to remember...
~to settle down. Everything doesn't have to be done today, right this instant. I have time to figure out the rhythm of life without the risk of getting burned out.
~that sweet fellowship with my Lord will always come before today's "To Do" list.
~that I'm in Scotland! That it is a blessing just to be here around new faces, people who have the same mindset and are chasing after God alongside me.
~that I am redeemed. Redeemed. Redeemed. My sweet Jesus is in the business of redeeming his children. That my sins cannot follow me around and define me, for I have given them to God, and he has thrown them over his shoulder, forgiven, forgotten. He is my identity, not my sin.
~that comparison is dangerous and from the enemy. I am beautifully and wonderfully made, in the image of the God of the universe.
~that I am to love god with all my heart, all my soul, all my mind, and all my strength, and love others as myself. Not only in verse form, when I can recite the verse and even explain to you what it means, but to live it out intentionally in every action and every word. Every breath I take is for the glory of God, to love him and to let him shine through me.
I know there are many more, but these are just a few. I feel as if I have been putting so much pressure on myself since I got here, craving an itinerary so I can check off things and feel as if i am getting things done in a very tangible way. Not that there is anything wrong with that, but I am putting pressure on myself, because if I do not accomplish a certain amount, those around me and those at home will start to wonder why I am here, I will start to wonder why I am here. I am here for a reason, God has me here, in this moment in this place, for a reason. I am to be an open vessel, heart postured towards him, serving him, waiting on him, loving him and others just as he commanded us and just as he created us to.
So, little string, remember that.
Monday, August 31, 2009
Scotland!
I have a left a friend and beautiful country for another just north. It is still chilly, windy, and cloudy, and there are still friendly faces about, warm with the promise of life-long friendship. This morning I woke up at 4:15, gathered my things, and drove to the airport with Becky and her father. I waited in the EasyJet que (line), sleepy-eyed and tail very much still in a restful state (as opposed to bright-eyed and bushy-tailed). After checking in, I boarded the plane and thought; I thought some about how quickly life changes, and I also thought about my gratefulness that there was a Starbucks after the security checkpoint (four shot espresso with an inch of soya for the sleepy American, please). As we rose above the clouds, I was much appreciative for the sunny day that awaited me. I could bask in the sun through the airplane window for the time being, before we descended and I was once again blanketed by clouds; clouds that provide wonderful, rainy, contemplative days, but clouds nonetheless. I landed, gathered my luggage with no hitch, walked outside, and 30 seconds later Tim (YWAM staffer) was there to pick me up. Seamless pick-up in an international airport, thank you Lord. We drove only 10 minutes back to the base, and we pulled up to a large stone house-the Stanely House, my new home.
Gorgeous! I was greeted by some of the staff and interns, and was given a house tour by my new friend Danielle. I love it! It is so great-so beautiful. I am in the staff wing, and I share the hall with two lovely people named Theo and Tim. And surprise! I have my own little room! It is really adorable. I was told that, since I am living here for two years, I can paint it and decorate it how I wish. Very exciting! I am hoping I can bike into Paisley and possibly Glasgow to some thrift stores there and find some sweet vintage decorations, something to make it look it more like my home, my own precious little hovel. ;)
My room
My precious desk (complete with glasses collection) ;)
Yay! I am so excited to be here... at last!
I have the rest of the week to settle in and get used to being here, getting to know people and getting to know the base. There are a few activities and outreaches I can plug into if I like. The DTS is here now, but they are leaving next week to go sailing. That will be a glance at what the base looks like normally, with not a lot going on. I am excited for this time to take initiative to figure out what I wish to be involved in! There is one other intern here already, and there is another that arrives in two weeks. When we are all here, I will get more of an outline of what we will be doing. I am excited! (I feel as if I cannot say that enough!) With it being cold here, and with the upcoming winter and the few hours of daylight that we will have, it will be easy to want to stay inside and become unmotivated, so I will be praying against that! Especially as I can feel the chill starting to creep into my socks AND slippers and through my sweater, I will need motivation more than ever to keep moving, and keep available and open to what God wants me to do. I want to have an open ear and open heart to what He wants to do in and through me, and how that can be lived out here on the base and in the community. I will try my best to be disciplined and keep you lovely people updated! It will depend on the day, I'm sure; some days I cannot say enough, some there are no words. Thank you all for your support! Until next time...
Gorgeous! I was greeted by some of the staff and interns, and was given a house tour by my new friend Danielle. I love it! It is so great-so beautiful. I am in the staff wing, and I share the hall with two lovely people named Theo and Tim. And surprise! I have my own little room! It is really adorable. I was told that, since I am living here for two years, I can paint it and decorate it how I wish. Very exciting! I am hoping I can bike into Paisley and possibly Glasgow to some thrift stores there and find some sweet vintage decorations, something to make it look it more like my home, my own precious little hovel. ;)
My room
My precious desk (complete with glasses collection) ;)
Yay! I am so excited to be here... at last!
I have the rest of the week to settle in and get used to being here, getting to know people and getting to know the base. There are a few activities and outreaches I can plug into if I like. The DTS is here now, but they are leaving next week to go sailing. That will be a glance at what the base looks like normally, with not a lot going on. I am excited for this time to take initiative to figure out what I wish to be involved in! There is one other intern here already, and there is another that arrives in two weeks. When we are all here, I will get more of an outline of what we will be doing. I am excited! (I feel as if I cannot say that enough!) With it being cold here, and with the upcoming winter and the few hours of daylight that we will have, it will be easy to want to stay inside and become unmotivated, so I will be praying against that! Especially as I can feel the chill starting to creep into my socks AND slippers and through my sweater, I will need motivation more than ever to keep moving, and keep available and open to what God wants me to do. I want to have an open ear and open heart to what He wants to do in and through me, and how that can be lived out here on the base and in the community. I will try my best to be disciplined and keep you lovely people updated! It will depend on the day, I'm sure; some days I cannot say enough, some there are no words. Thank you all for your support! Until next time...
Sunday, August 30, 2009
England, in photo form.
Here are a few pictures from the lovely adventures I've had in England so far! It was only a short trip here, but hopefully I get the opportunity to come back and visit more!
Classic telephone booth. It had to be done. :)
My first punting experience (standing on the back of a boat, pushing along the bottom the river to move it along)
Becky and I after a day of golfing
The Circle in Bath
Classic telephone booth. It had to be done. :)
My first punting experience (standing on the back of a boat, pushing along the bottom the river to move it along)
Becky and I after a day of golfing
The Circle in Bath
Friday, August 28, 2009
England...and then some.
I never wrote much when I was home in Springfield. Not that things weren't happening, but I felt as if the small, mundane things that entertained me weren't worth putting on the internet, because I was the only one that found pleasure in them. However, I am no longer in Springfield, I am in England. Portishead, to be exact. And it's very wonderful! Definitely something to write about.
Tuesday was my last day in Springfield. I had my last breakfast with my family, at none other than the oh-so-wonderful Gailey's Breakfast Cafe...
... then went home to pack. I checked my email, got a message that said my flight was cancelled and they were putting me on a different flight, meaning that my connecting flight from Springfield was moved to an earlier time and to Chicago rather than Dallas. So that took a bit of rushing around to organize final luggage and details of that nature! But we made it there with time to spare, and time to hang out with the parents before the flight. It was a bittersweet goodbye. Bitter because I am going to be across an ocean from these two people that I love dearly, yet sweet because I am following God's leading on my life, as well as going to an exciting new place! (It was hard leaving all my family and friends, but at that moment it was hard leaving them because they were at the airport with me when I left. ;) So I love you all, no worries!) I flew to Chicago, booked it across the airport to the international terminal, and caught my flight just as it was boarding. I then had seven hours to settle in and mull over my life as of late-the leaving friends and family behind, what I was able to do before I left, the things that I didn't get to say, all those things that you never get around to or think about at the proper time, just came crashing down on me. I found no other solice but through pen to paper, some Jon Foreman, and a good cry. So lots of thinking and no sleep-it was a very sweet time. So I made it to the London/Heathrow airport around seven the next morning, only to see my dear sweet Becky waiting for me there! It was a sweet reunion-I've missed her very much. We came back to her house to have a snack of mincemeat slice and to rest. I kept falling asleep, so I was allowed a nap, but not too long, because I didn't want to suffer jet lag. So after a good nap, I felt great, and we then proceeded to drive to town to grab a cup of coffee and to walk around Portishead, while Becky was able to show me the shops and the "what's-what" in England, all the while quizzing me on my vocabulary. As we approached the marina, it started to drizzle, so we decided to turn around for the car, when it started to down pour! (During our outreach, one of the guys always said when it was raining, it was God telling us, "I love you THIS much!") So we were pleased with the unexpected shower. We returned home wet and drippy, so we changed into sweats and watched some TV, ate some dinner, and went to bed. The next day/Thursday/yesterday, we drove to Bath. We were going to go to the Jane Austen museum, but it was seven quid, which was decided was too steep for two kids on a missions salary. ;) So we walked around the shops and the town, Becky laughing at me for being the in-awe tourist with a camera in her hand. I tried not to be that person, but it was so beautiful I couldn't help it! And I have very adamant parents and supporters who want some pictures of England, so I was indulging them. ;) At one point we went to a large roundabout that was all grass and trees in the middle, called the Circus, and ate an afternoon snack of fruit. It was an absolutely gorgeous, sunny day, and I was appreciative to have the wind slightly chill my skin whilst the sun warmed it. It was a very "I can't believe I'm doing this at this very moment," sort of thing. We then came home, had some late dinner and some TV, then called it a night. Today, we went to play golf! It was an adventure for me, because the closest I've ever gotten to golfing is the Fun Acre putt-putt in Springfield, that is $2 to get in, and you have to putt it through windmills and alligators and such. None of the real sort of stuff. So when I had trouble actually hitting the ball, I was slightly embarrassed, but not at all surprised. I would swing and hit nothing, then swing and send grass clumps everywhere, then hit the actual ball, only to have it take off in only 10 feet in the wrong direction. It took me awhile, but I think I got the hang of it towards the end of the course. I will try it again, because Scotland is the home of golf, and you can't exactly live there without having to play it on occasion, right? And at least trying to be moderately good at it? We will see what the future holds as far as my golfing career goes. Look out Tiger? Not likely. Unless he is on the green somewhere, because I would hate to hit him. ;) It was a very windy day, with only patches of sun, but still very beautiful!
We came home, rested and ate, and watched part of "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy." All fell asleep except this American, who is still apparently running on a bit of jet lag, which is why I am still awake updating you fine people and not sleeping. However, this might be an opportune time to sign off. I appreciate your taking the time to read this. I wish all of you a happy, inspired day, and I will surely keep you posted on life from this point out.
In His Love,
Anna Rae
Tuesday was my last day in Springfield. I had my last breakfast with my family, at none other than the oh-so-wonderful Gailey's Breakfast Cafe...
... then went home to pack. I checked my email, got a message that said my flight was cancelled and they were putting me on a different flight, meaning that my connecting flight from Springfield was moved to an earlier time and to Chicago rather than Dallas. So that took a bit of rushing around to organize final luggage and details of that nature! But we made it there with time to spare, and time to hang out with the parents before the flight. It was a bittersweet goodbye. Bitter because I am going to be across an ocean from these two people that I love dearly, yet sweet because I am following God's leading on my life, as well as going to an exciting new place! (It was hard leaving all my family and friends, but at that moment it was hard leaving them because they were at the airport with me when I left. ;) So I love you all, no worries!) I flew to Chicago, booked it across the airport to the international terminal, and caught my flight just as it was boarding. I then had seven hours to settle in and mull over my life as of late-the leaving friends and family behind, what I was able to do before I left, the things that I didn't get to say, all those things that you never get around to or think about at the proper time, just came crashing down on me. I found no other solice but through pen to paper, some Jon Foreman, and a good cry. So lots of thinking and no sleep-it was a very sweet time. So I made it to the London/Heathrow airport around seven the next morning, only to see my dear sweet Becky waiting for me there! It was a sweet reunion-I've missed her very much. We came back to her house to have a snack of mincemeat slice and to rest. I kept falling asleep, so I was allowed a nap, but not too long, because I didn't want to suffer jet lag. So after a good nap, I felt great, and we then proceeded to drive to town to grab a cup of coffee and to walk around Portishead, while Becky was able to show me the shops and the "what's-what" in England, all the while quizzing me on my vocabulary. As we approached the marina, it started to drizzle, so we decided to turn around for the car, when it started to down pour! (During our outreach, one of the guys always said when it was raining, it was God telling us, "I love you THIS much!") So we were pleased with the unexpected shower. We returned home wet and drippy, so we changed into sweats and watched some TV, ate some dinner, and went to bed. The next day/Thursday/yesterday, we drove to Bath. We were going to go to the Jane Austen museum, but it was seven quid, which was decided was too steep for two kids on a missions salary. ;) So we walked around the shops and the town, Becky laughing at me for being the in-awe tourist with a camera in her hand. I tried not to be that person, but it was so beautiful I couldn't help it! And I have very adamant parents and supporters who want some pictures of England, so I was indulging them. ;) At one point we went to a large roundabout that was all grass and trees in the middle, called the Circus, and ate an afternoon snack of fruit. It was an absolutely gorgeous, sunny day, and I was appreciative to have the wind slightly chill my skin whilst the sun warmed it. It was a very "I can't believe I'm doing this at this very moment," sort of thing. We then came home, had some late dinner and some TV, then called it a night. Today, we went to play golf! It was an adventure for me, because the closest I've ever gotten to golfing is the Fun Acre putt-putt in Springfield, that is $2 to get in, and you have to putt it through windmills and alligators and such. None of the real sort of stuff. So when I had trouble actually hitting the ball, I was slightly embarrassed, but not at all surprised. I would swing and hit nothing, then swing and send grass clumps everywhere, then hit the actual ball, only to have it take off in only 10 feet in the wrong direction. It took me awhile, but I think I got the hang of it towards the end of the course. I will try it again, because Scotland is the home of golf, and you can't exactly live there without having to play it on occasion, right? And at least trying to be moderately good at it? We will see what the future holds as far as my golfing career goes. Look out Tiger? Not likely. Unless he is on the green somewhere, because I would hate to hit him. ;) It was a very windy day, with only patches of sun, but still very beautiful!
We came home, rested and ate, and watched part of "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy." All fell asleep except this American, who is still apparently running on a bit of jet lag, which is why I am still awake updating you fine people and not sleeping. However, this might be an opportune time to sign off. I appreciate your taking the time to read this. I wish all of you a happy, inspired day, and I will surely keep you posted on life from this point out.
In His Love,
Anna Rae
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Redemption Song
I never realized exactly how terrible I was a updating my blog, until I realized it had been over a month since my last post. I will do better.
Right now, it is so beautiful outside! I have been consistently blown away with the weather, just how gorgeous God's creation is. The evidence of spring is everywhere with the lush gardens and the vibrantly green trees and rolling hills. Combine that with the intense summer sun, and you have a breathtaking, glorious day. A day when music seems the seep from the crevices of creation, and you can't smiling and singing. I am in the midst of such a day right now. I woke up and drove to a beautiful neighborhood where the trees shade the sidewalks and the houses more often than not have children's toys strewn about he front lawn. I then proceeded to run with a friend for a while. I have never liked running:growing up, in high school, even last year-it was always something I thought of and had a bad taste in my mouth. However, lately I have been trying to be more disciplined, and have tried to run on a regular basis. My body now lets me know when I have not run for a bit, because it starts craving it. I don't understand-all I am doing is running for an extended period of time (little "Anchorman" joke for you there). My body can feel it, but more so than that, my mind craves it. It craves that portion of time that I do nothing but listening to music and push myself. I can think. I can roll around the thoughts of the day, week, the problems and concerns, and joys and the things I am grateful for, the dreams that I have, my future, and how to get there with my present, and on rare occasion, I think of absolutely nothing, which then promptly weirds me out and I start thinking about 6 things to make up for the time that I wasted thinking about nothing. Whatever i think about, at the end of my run is always the promise of clarity and a rejuvenated spirit. So, in short, I have taken a liking to running. ;) The rest of my day? Came home, cleaned, ate an apple, and right now I am outside in the sunshine, attempting to gain more sun kisses/freckles before the day's end.
I have been doing lots of thinking about the past six months since I have returned home, about how I was changed during my SBFM, and about my mindset when I first returned home. How easily we can slip away and forget-not forget, simply store in the corners of our minds-what we have learned, what our purpose in life is, and where we are going. During the year 2008, my life has changed so much. I completed my DTS which rocked my views, my passion for Jesus, and my identity as a daughter of the King. During that summer, God gave me a heart for the community of Springfield that I never had before. I was able to spend a week of 24/7 prayer with other believers-my fire for intercession only continued to burn brighter and harder during that week. During my SBFM, My mind was molded and shaped in so many way; my world view was changed, my knowledge of God only deepened to make me realize how much more I had to learn. I came home at the end of that school, my mind still craving learning and reading everything I could get my hands on, reading 3 books at once, alternating between them. I came to a point when I decided to slow down, for fear of burning out, i told myself. I busied myself with other things, working out, finding a job, spending time with friends. I am not saying that these things are bad, or that they are unimportant. Jobs are necessary, taking care of your self is a good habit, and we are built to be in relationship with one another. However, here I six months later, wondering how I got to the place I am, where the fire is not as strong and God's voice is not so prevalent? I am not about to say that God has left me or abandoned me-I know better than that. That is against His character, against His nature. However, it is in my nature as a sinful human to leave, to make wrong decisions, to not chase after my Beloved everyday with all me heart. Something one of our speakers during SBFM said was, "How dare you do anything without permission form your Father?" I have not been seeking Him in everything I do. It is so easy for me to think of this stage of my life as an in-between stage. I am in between SBFM in Maui and the Peregrinati Way internship in Scotland. I have nine months here-work, friends, not much else can be done but wait right? So very wrong. When we turn our eyes towards God, when we posture ourselves in a way that we throw our arms open towards Him, and we can be on our knees in worship and adoration, we can say, "God, here I am. What wold you like to do in and through me today?" That is our purpose. We are here to love Him with our whole heart, soul, mind, and strength,and we are to love others as we love ourselves. That is what we are called to do, that is what we are made for.
So this is my confession:I have not been the woman of God that He created me to be. I take heart in the fact that God is in the business of redemption-He loves redeeming His children! I know there will be times when I will fall, and I am confident that God will never leave me. This is the path that is marked out for us-I think I may just have found part of the trail.
Right now, it is so beautiful outside! I have been consistently blown away with the weather, just how gorgeous God's creation is. The evidence of spring is everywhere with the lush gardens and the vibrantly green trees and rolling hills. Combine that with the intense summer sun, and you have a breathtaking, glorious day. A day when music seems the seep from the crevices of creation, and you can't smiling and singing. I am in the midst of such a day right now. I woke up and drove to a beautiful neighborhood where the trees shade the sidewalks and the houses more often than not have children's toys strewn about he front lawn. I then proceeded to run with a friend for a while. I have never liked running:growing up, in high school, even last year-it was always something I thought of and had a bad taste in my mouth. However, lately I have been trying to be more disciplined, and have tried to run on a regular basis. My body now lets me know when I have not run for a bit, because it starts craving it. I don't understand-all I am doing is running for an extended period of time (little "Anchorman" joke for you there). My body can feel it, but more so than that, my mind craves it. It craves that portion of time that I do nothing but listening to music and push myself. I can think. I can roll around the thoughts of the day, week, the problems and concerns, and joys and the things I am grateful for, the dreams that I have, my future, and how to get there with my present, and on rare occasion, I think of absolutely nothing, which then promptly weirds me out and I start thinking about 6 things to make up for the time that I wasted thinking about nothing. Whatever i think about, at the end of my run is always the promise of clarity and a rejuvenated spirit. So, in short, I have taken a liking to running. ;) The rest of my day? Came home, cleaned, ate an apple, and right now I am outside in the sunshine, attempting to gain more sun kisses/freckles before the day's end.
I have been doing lots of thinking about the past six months since I have returned home, about how I was changed during my SBFM, and about my mindset when I first returned home. How easily we can slip away and forget-not forget, simply store in the corners of our minds-what we have learned, what our purpose in life is, and where we are going. During the year 2008, my life has changed so much. I completed my DTS which rocked my views, my passion for Jesus, and my identity as a daughter of the King. During that summer, God gave me a heart for the community of Springfield that I never had before. I was able to spend a week of 24/7 prayer with other believers-my fire for intercession only continued to burn brighter and harder during that week. During my SBFM, My mind was molded and shaped in so many way; my world view was changed, my knowledge of God only deepened to make me realize how much more I had to learn. I came home at the end of that school, my mind still craving learning and reading everything I could get my hands on, reading 3 books at once, alternating between them. I came to a point when I decided to slow down, for fear of burning out, i told myself. I busied myself with other things, working out, finding a job, spending time with friends. I am not saying that these things are bad, or that they are unimportant. Jobs are necessary, taking care of your self is a good habit, and we are built to be in relationship with one another. However, here I six months later, wondering how I got to the place I am, where the fire is not as strong and God's voice is not so prevalent? I am not about to say that God has left me or abandoned me-I know better than that. That is against His character, against His nature. However, it is in my nature as a sinful human to leave, to make wrong decisions, to not chase after my Beloved everyday with all me heart. Something one of our speakers during SBFM said was, "How dare you do anything without permission form your Father?" I have not been seeking Him in everything I do. It is so easy for me to think of this stage of my life as an in-between stage. I am in between SBFM in Maui and the Peregrinati Way internship in Scotland. I have nine months here-work, friends, not much else can be done but wait right? So very wrong. When we turn our eyes towards God, when we posture ourselves in a way that we throw our arms open towards Him, and we can be on our knees in worship and adoration, we can say, "God, here I am. What wold you like to do in and through me today?" That is our purpose. We are here to love Him with our whole heart, soul, mind, and strength,and we are to love others as we love ourselves. That is what we are called to do, that is what we are made for.
So this is my confession:I have not been the woman of God that He created me to be. I take heart in the fact that God is in the business of redemption-He loves redeeming His children! I know there will be times when I will fall, and I am confident that God will never leave me. This is the path that is marked out for us-I think I may just have found part of the trail.
Saturday, May 2, 2009
Decision
"He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim freedom for the captives
and release from darkness for the prisoners"
Isaiah 61:1
Brother come on open up you eyes
Quit believing all those lies
That the devils been telling you
Sister I know that it happened again
But girl you that you’ve got a friend
I’ve been there too
Brother you can take of that mask you wear
Quit acting like you don’t care
About the things that are killing you
Sister don’t go that way no more
You’ve been down that road before
I’m in love with you
Everyone says that it’s alright
Living in darkness every night
But I think it’s time, Lord it’s time
I’m ready to give up all my sin
But I don’t know where to begin
But I think it’s time to find out
And make that change
I’ve been lonely too
Many days pass by, what’s done is done
I give up my life
I’ve been running through the night
Towards the light, of the sun
Now I’m free
Bring a little love for me
Sweet love of mine
It’s the morning of a new day
I thank you Lord for everything
That you’ve done
In me
I will meet you there
In the end of time
Come together as one
-Josh Garrels
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